wtorek, 25 czerwca 2013

Nightmares

A few days ago nightmares began to hunt me every single night the same things it was well until I found out what is that mean and I'm deadly scared now . The dream is about my deceased from several years
Great-grandmother . Place of a nightmare is my grandmother house al;l famili is in the house and we are waiting for resurrection of the great-grandmother . By all dream I feel like we are doing something wrong  something forbidden I feel anxiety but the desire to raise  her is stronger . In that dream is darkly I can hear the sounds of the storm very strong gale and strong rhythmic rain . Despite the fact that I look forward to her eagerly I am scared of her coming . The first day of the first dream when for the first time she resurrected she was trembling from the cold she was sitting on a sofa in the kitchen like she use to she was wearing her ordinary suit she was trembling from the cold we put thick blankets on her she was smiling with eyes closed i hug her hard and then I asked her " How is ther Grandma ? " she could not say anything and she only said  that " HE only said he wants to change the world modernize it..". I retread to tell it others then she grabbed me by my shoulders and I saw a huge man he was standing back to me infront of him I saw a world  with
huge gloomy buildings above them stretched the endless sea of lava .Then HE turned to me His profile and I saw His baleful  smile on his face then  suddenly across the buildings passed some kind of shiver and buildings have changed in a higher and more sinister. Monstrous image dissolve like mist and I was back  in my grandmother house . Another dreams are equally frightening. 


piątek, 21 czerwca 2013

I have to hide for now .


E. E. Cummings  - If

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
Life would be delight, —
But things couldn’t go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn’t be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I’d be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn’t be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair, —
Yet they’d all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn’t be we.




wtorek, 4 czerwca 2013

Marriage seriously

Today I found out that my crush from years ago is getting married soon  with a foreign girl and nobody asked me for permission did somebody HELL NO  he's only 21 years old I mean isn't he too young ?  or maybe just that I'm weird immature and childish and does not seem aware of anything like a child that live in the world of fairy tales and illusions with flaw defective of brain , child that is simply not adapted to life in the real world full of brutal ugliness of disappointment and forever heartbroken. it's sad when it turns out, however, that things change when you want to be the same forever, and when you realise that people were so well known are those strange alien life forms you will never understand and leave you behind, and their adulthood, however, we will never know is that their or our good choice.